Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
