Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
