6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
