So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
