the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
