I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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