Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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