..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
