Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
