I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
