Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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