You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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