Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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