dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
