Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
