I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
