so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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