So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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