Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
