Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
