So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
