I'm lost and stupid without you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
