new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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