My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
