areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
