do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
