I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
