imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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