You're my little dorito
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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