Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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