so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
