Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We had sex on a dog bed..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
