It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
