id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
