I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
