I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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