I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
