she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
