By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
