carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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