Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So. Much. Porn.
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