I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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