I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
