remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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