Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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