She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
