this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
