oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
NoShamevember. You game?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
