do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
