The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
