My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize