the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
