Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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