Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize