I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize