Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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