Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
