Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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