pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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